We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
