We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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