I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
