Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
