I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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