the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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