Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
