Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I had to cum in my sink.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
