maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
