fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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