I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
