What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
