i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
