anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We have so much sex to catch up on
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
