party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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