i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
