You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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