I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
