I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
