this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize