I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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