I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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