I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize