absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize