Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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