I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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