All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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