no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
