He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
