I faked an abortion last night.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
