I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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