For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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