I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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