If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
