All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
