separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
