Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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