I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize