sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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