yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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