Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize