Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize