Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
