I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
