I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize