I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize