Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
