I love black thongs
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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