the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
