oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
