I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
did i just pee glitter
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
