Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
