the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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