dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
