Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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