what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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