A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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