that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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