My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
