Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
