Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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