SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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