I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
