so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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