you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
