we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
