So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
