after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she told me i tasted like america
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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